Letters of Elder Joseph of Vatopedi, No 9

“I am not being humble, I am horrified!”

To my dearly beloved A and to the church of God which meets at his place, I send my fatherly prayers.

I have received your letters, abundant with the affection which all of you have sent me and I am deeply moved. For, I am by nature unworthy and insignificant, and I have never aspired to any authority or significant position at least in this life and I have always wanted to stay anonymous and invisible, as I truly am. What on earth has happened now and other people, especially friends of God, take notice and count me among the living? This frightens me very much and I am not just being humble, but I am horrified! I am trying to find some comfort, especially for the sake of others who stay with me, but my argument is poor since I constantly wonder: Is this God’s will or is it His concession? What will they gain from me? “Have mercy on me, Lord” and on them! For, they are benign beings for which “Jesus has given His life” and appealed to them to perceive the aroma of His acquaintance. Who is gifted enough to respond properly so that they will be in need no more?

You may think that I have found the occasion to behave modestly. But this is not true, my beloved soul. I am scared, I am wondering and I am appealing to the prayers of the devout, to get a sense of balance.

I am sorry to have troubled you with my wretchedness, but I wanted to reduce the many perils that are in store for me…

The post here is almost primitive and gets worst when the weather deteriorates. Nevertheless, we do receive the packets even if they are delayed. We have also received the olive oil and the checks.  I have also been to the doctors in Thessaloniki, at the persistence of those who have placed their hope in me, but unfortunately, they did not find anything which may shorten our miserable life. Therefore, we are still here! They have found that we are getting better. Perhaps God’s providence has, as usual, prevented a relapse of the illness.

I have sent to my little daughter, my own komposkini (prayer rope, knotter cord) and a little cotton wool soaked with myrrh from a small icon of the Holy Mother, here at our Skete. We have taken the myrrh ourselves when we noticed that the icon was soaked with it.

We have also finished a small storage room down at the shore, to store the goods which our brotherhood owns and also to keep our fishing boat; this is the only means of travel we have in case of emergencies. As for the building works at the Skete, we first need to get permission from the authorities, the engineers etc. and it will be some time before we can actually begin. We have also begun looking to buy some animals to carry the goods up here, because otherwise our residence here will be impossible.

When you visit us, we will carry you with our boat. Ah! When young Athanasios comes as well, we will go fishing and travelling and will do everything that is good for recreation!

The fathers here have begun to learn iconography and wood carving and hopefully it will not be long before they master it.  Of the novices in the brotherhood, three went through rassoefhi (tonsure: formal service by which a novice is clothed in the first degree of monasticism, with a robe, ‘rasso’) and two more are being prepared for it. All are sending their love to you.

Lord’s Grace and blessing may be with you forever, my esteemed brothers in Christ, until we pass from death into life. I am also sending you my blessings and prayers and my full affection in Christ especially to my little angels: the little girls and my gifted child, Thanasakis.

I remain always yours in prayer,

Humble, Joseph elder, your poor father.