Don’t be sad and bitter, Christ is here20 December 2021
You should know that you’ll often feel troubled and won’t experience that holy peace, sweet solitude and beloved freedom within you. And sometimes, the movement of your heart may raise dust that hinders you in the course you’re set on.
God grants you this for your greater good. Remember that this is warfare, which brought the saints crowns as their great reward. Every time something is upsetting you, you should say: ‘Lord, you see here your servant; may your will be done to me and in me. I know and confess that the truth of your words remains always sound, that your promises are sure and I hope in them. I wait only for you’. Certainly, the soul which offers itself to the Lord in this way every time it’s troubled or upset is fortunate. And if this warfare drags on and you’re not able to unite your will with that of God as quickly as you’d like, don’t lose heart over it and don’t be sad.
Continue to offer yourself, to worship and you’ll overcome. Take a look at the garden where Christ was and where his humanity was appalled and he said: ‘Father, if possible let this cup pass from me’. But immediately he isolated this reaction and by a simple, free act of will said with great humility: ‘Nevertheless, not as I wish but as you do’ (Matth.26, 39).
When you find yourself in some kind of difficulty, don’t retreat without first raising your eyes to Christ on the cross and you’ll see written there in large letters that you, too, will be led into that sorrow. Copy this model onto yourself by your deeds. And if you’re ever bothered by love for yourself, don’t be afraid, don’t separate yourself from the cross, but hasten to prayer and show patience in humility until you triumph. Let the will of God become for you your own will and desires.
And when you’ve finished praying and have gathered the fruit thereof, be joyful. If your soul hasn’t attained this, it’ll remain hungry and without nourishment. Strive to ensure that nothing but God resides in your soul, even for a short length of time. Don’t be sad and bitter over anything at all, not even when you see the wickedness and bad example of other people. Be like a little child who doesn’t suffer from any of those evils, but passes through them without coming to any harm.