Tributes / Marriage

The difficulty to commit one’s self to a relationship

24 May 2014

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One of the greatest ailments of the narcissistic age in which we live is the difficulty to commit oneself to longstanding relationships. This ailment stems from two roots that are in interconnected.

One is the need to have a relationship that continually “fuels” one’s self in its attempt to acquire power, esteem, praise, honor  and glory. In this case, a relationship lasts as long as these demands are provided by the other. When the other does not provide these “goods”, then he or she is angrily rejected, disconnected and replaced by another.

The other root of the ailment of non-commitment is the fear of rejection and failure. Here dominates the feeling that one is not good enough to make the commitment. Thus, there is a continual effort do everything to make sure the other is pleased in a fearful way. This though creates anger and guilt in both persons, causing even more apprehension in committing one’s self to the relationship.

Christ’s encounter with the Samaritan woman shows us that true relationships cannot exist when they are founded on self-centered interests, material and sensual satisfactions, prejudices και fears. They require honesty, trust, dedication, courage and fortitude that cultivate a eternal yearning for one another that continually renews the relationship.

+SK

Source: http://www.patriarchate.org/pastoralhealthcare/library/pastoral/pt18052014?lang=el

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